They Say It's In The Genes!

I HAVE JERRY SEINFELD'S PARENTS. I say this with the UTMOST respect for my Mom & Dad. But every day I am reminded that I come from kooky stock!

I love my Mom & Dad with all my heart. I really do. But I swear sometimes I think that they are from a galaxy far, far away from here. Well... Delray Beach, Florida IS like another planet.

I speak to my parents almost every day. And everyday, when I am in the middle of a sentence, my Mother will yell out," Morty, your daughter is on the phone". Then Dad will get on and have to be brought up to date on whatever it was that I was just talking about.

Today I spent 15 minutes explaining to my Mother what a blog is. (No Mom... It's totally free... No Mom, I'm not getting paid to do this... No, Mom, I don't give out my home address). Needless to say, my folks don't own a computer. But they were very interested, nonetheless. Especially when I told them that I was really enjoying my rekindled writing interests.

BUT THEN... AS IT ALWAYS DOES... IT HAPPENED.
THE WEIRDNESS SET IN!

MOM: Your father cut out an article from the paper that talks about how you can get into writing children's books.

DAD: Yea, there's lots of money in children's books.

ME: But I don't have any interest in writing children's books! There's no cussing in children's books!

MOM: But as long as you are writing, you might as well try to get something published!

DAD: How about the Reader's Digest. They like short, funny stories. And they pay!

ME: How about I just finish this record and try to sell a bunch of copies, and go out and play music for a living SINCE I AM A MUSICIAN and I really don't want to write children's books!

MOM: But you could write children's books in your spare time! Morty, where's that article about children's books we cut out for her?

DAD(not missing in a beat): Did you ever sell those cemetery plots we gave you?

NOW, I'd like to stop here and explain. A couple of years ago, Dad gave me the deeds to two lovely cemetery plots in NJ that he & my Mom had bought years ago. But now that they they live in Florida, they went ahead and bought two other plots down there! Since I don't have any plans to use them in my immediate future, and the cemetery isn't zoned for building on, I now have TO SELL two cemetery plots. (Although being dead is about the only way you could ever get me to spend any time in New Jersey!). And if I sell them, I get to keep the cash!!! Wow, I'm told that they are worth at least $1000 each. BUT THERE IS A CATCH. It's a Jewish cemetery! I can only sell the plots to a certified Jew. So if I ever have 5 minutes to do some research, I have a little investment deal on my hands! If anyone knows of anyone who happens to be Jewish looking for some beautiful "real estate" property somewhere off exit 9A, please send 'em my way!

************************************************************
Comments, comments, comments! Thanks to everyone who stopped by via Michele. It was great to have so much action and make some new "virtual friends!" And thanks to my regular buddies for stopping by and leaving comments. I'll be by soon to catch up!