I'M A COLLECTOR! Damn it!
Somebody help me! I'm collector and I can't seem to stop myself! I know I should stop, but I confess, it's the thrill of the chase. Just one more wafer thin mint. So, what do I collect,...
Floaty pens, lady head vases, old 3-D blinky things, Beatle figurines, room keys from hotels, yarn, violins, guitars & shoes! (Just to name a few)
But yet, I want MORE! I know that I don't have any more room. I know that I've taken up every inch of closet, wall and floor space. But I can't seem to stop myself! I pray that Santa will go on a very long journey and get me just one more floaty pen from some exotic, far away place! Pictures, you want to see pictures?
Here's a picture of my fabulous floaty pen collection! This doesn't even count the box of excess pens that wouldn't fit on the shelf!
STAY AWAY FROM EBAY!!!! It's the devil for collectors. It's so very easy to bid on something that is so far away...but yet so easy to imagine fondling in just a few short days. Hey, PayPal isn't really money!
Hell, I've got so much yarn in my storage locker that I could easily knit a scarf clear around Manhattan! And do I really need 3 accordions? Or 4 guitars?
Did somebody mention electric violins? 2 blue ones, a black one, a white one, & 2 brown ones. And then there are the ones that I don't plug in. I even have the crappy one that I play on the beach!
So Santa, I know that you are busy worrying about filling up those little kids lists, but keep in mind that I'm an adult that MAY GROW OLDER, BUT I REFUSE TO GROW UP...and maybe you could find me that floaty pen from the North Pole that might just round out my collection. Hope it's not too much to ask.
Happy Holidays to all of you...
And may Santa bring you everything your little heart desires.
You are what you collect. - C. Wayne Owens, actor, aphorist
Give us the luxuries of life, and we shall dispense with its necessities.
J.L. Notley - 1814 – 1877:
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